Home ALONE

So...I've bn seperated for well over a year now...dating another guy...and I have to say that losing this guy is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much harder than the "husband" I had. It is so weird how life plays out, but its all for a reason so I'm not gonna question it. I can't help but to care deeply for the people in my life....it's somthing I've always done and probably will always do--that's who I am. I tend to try to always please people in whatever way I can just to make sure they are happy, and when that happiness ends, I become lost. I don't know how to get it back and it kills me. I find myself not motivated to do anything of any sort because there are tooooooooooooooo many reminders out there. If only I could lock myself in a box somewhere with some padded walls for some comfort. HAHA!! Anyway, I don't think I mentioned what wonderful friends I have...I am truly blessed 2 have them in my life!!! W/O them I'd be crazy!! I love all of you who have given a crap about me...You don't know how much it means to me

Love

Bleeding

So in this crazy life I live, I'm often pushed into doing things that I don't necessarily don't want to do...for instance, the guy I have been with for almost a year now can't make up his mind one way or another what he wants to do...so I did it for him...I left. Out the door like a fly who finally found a teenie tiny hole to slip through. Set free yet still wondering what I left behind. A pretty big chunk of me is still there with him I know that, and these damn crocodile tears keep streaming down my face like a river who's dam just broke loose. I know I'm going to hear people saying things like, "Oh, it'll be alright," and YES, I know it WILL be alright but for now its not--it hurts like a mother fucking dull butcher knife being stabbed into my chest, twisting around with those serrated edges, and then being yanked out with such force to knock me down. Leaving me here...just bleeding.............................................................................................................